Tears poured down my face during my first Reiki attunement. The attunement itself is painless, and quite beautiful, but I was confronting so many longstanding fears in that moment. Would becoming attuned mean offending God or alienating those that I loved? What if being attuned for Reiki attracted things that I had spent my whole adult life convincing myself were just figments of my imagination? What if I couldn’t “do” Reiki?
I could have walked away right there and stayed in the “safe” little world I had created for myself. But I wouldn’t have grown. Instead, I clung to the guidance my Reiki Master offered: find what resonates with you.
But what does that mean exactly? How can something resonate with you?
Each of us has our own intuition. Unfortunately, many of us learn to disregard our intuition as a baseless feeling. (How many times in my life have I been told that I’m “too sensitive”?) Intuition is much more than a feeling. It’s a knowing that at times defies logic. It’s the language of the soul. When something resonates with you, it sounds, and feels, right to you. It strikes a chord within you. If something doesn’t resonate, it clashes with your intuition, creating discord and making you uncomfortable.
I have learned time and time again that ignoring my intuition can be disastrous. One example is when I decided to get to know someone better, even though I felt a little uncomfortable around him. I had just come out of a difficult relationship, and I was doubting my own judgment, so I decided to try something different. I invited a guy who had always been extremely thoughtful and respectful, but with whom I felt no connection, over to my house for dinner and a movie. Our dinner conversation included his confession that he suffered from mental illness and had once followed a girl home with the intention of raping her. I spent the entire movie trying to figure out how to get him out of my house without incident. I was successful, and I never saw him again. I don’t have any bad feelings toward him, and I hope that he got the help that he needed, but I wasn’t prepared to offer that help myself. By defying my intuition, I had put myself into a dangerous situation.
Happily, using my intuition to find what does resonate with me has helped me to build a much more meaningful life. I have prayed my way through each step of my Reiki journey, and I’m still learning to listen for the reply, from God and from myself.
For more about my story: My Reiki Journey
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